1. Totino’s Pizza Rolls: I just love these things. I’ve been eating them for probably 30 years. There’s something just clever about an egg roll that has processed cheese, fake tomato sauce and cubes of pepperoni in them. Best eaten during football games, whether you’re winning or not, or after everyone’s left the house in morning when you can dive into half a bag and nobody will see you.

2. Nathan’s Mini Beef Hotdogs in Blankets: Accept no substitute if you can find these in the freezer case at the grocery store. Nathan’s dogs are made with a natural casing that snaps in your mouth when you bite into them. I know hot dogs are not lean. But they taste that way. The best thing to dip them in (you have to have a dip) is either honey mustard or Durkee’s. Look for Durkee’s in the mayonnaise section. It’s also great on ham sandwiches.

3. Texas Toast Breadsticks with Pizza Sauce: These are so yummy! Part of the charm with these breadsticks is that they just ooze the buttery-like artificial topping as they bake. There are only 16 breadsticks in a package and they’re kind of smallish so it is entirely possible to eat the entire box without even knowing you’ve done it. The pizza sauce has some semblance of tomato in it and is, therefore, healthy. If you eat them standing up, that cuts the calories in half.

4. Trader Joe’s Potstickers: I think these are actually healthy, but I just love them. They’re easy to make. You just fry them in a little oil until the bottoms get nice and golden, then add a few tablespoons of water and cover them to steam. It takes about five minutes in all. If you make a dipping sauce out of soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, sesame oil, a pinch of sugar and some grated fresh ginger they’re even better.

5. Mini Chocolate Eclairs: I can’t remember the brand but you can get them at Costco and in a lot of grocery stores. At Costco, of course, they come in a giant plastic tube that a family of 3 couldn’t get through in a summer. But we try. They have the real high-quality goo in the center that just melts in your mouth. I’m not a sweets person, but I cannot pass these up and I can tell you they have appeared at more than one Episcopal reception without a single complaint that they’re not homemade.